The Search is On

This month Adam and I have two weddings to go to. We have his brothers on the 13th and my brothers on the 28th! So, I need something to wear, because the only dresses I have now that actually fit me are two maxi dresses, that I alternate in wearing every other week to church. Maxi dresses are nice, but trust me... after a while, there is only so much you can do with them, and they always make me look like a tent, like a woman with a ball up her top. It's not flattering at all.

I have looked in a few places and all I seem to find are dresses that aren't below the knee. The women are wearing quite short, very tight dresses with 4 inch heels, because obviously at 30 weeks pregnant (32 by the time the wedding comes, 34 at the next) the only thing you're going to be tottering around in is 4/5 inch heels. It totally baffles me.

However, when Adam and I went to Mothercare the other day I found some saving grace in the dresses they have on sale. Now all I need to do is cross my fingers and hope they still have them next week when I get some money to buy one. On the other hand my sister, Bethany, sent me numerous pictures of the dresses they had in Mothercare in Bradford and I did not like a single one.  I had to ask very politely who the dresses were for, as she hadn't told me previously. If they had been for her I would have told her she was nuts, but since she had looked them all up for me and taken pictures of them all, I told her she was nuts, in a nicer way. It was nice of her to look for me. But why is it that all pregnant women are supposed to wear stripes? You get told unless you are skinny there is no way you should really be wearing horizontal stripes as they stretch over your body, so why is it as soon as you're the size of a balloon the shops think you want to wear? The mind boggles...

If you hadn't guessed it already, yes I am ranting. I need to rant every now and again. It makes me feel human.

Also, the lack of shops that sell maternity dresses, that don't look like tents, is very far and few between. I searched every shop I could think of, and this was their online range... even bigger than what they supply in store. I could not find a thing. I honestly, could not find a thing. Unless you wanted to rob a bank for me so I could buy a dress from JoJo Maman Bebe... feel free if you like.

I might just hide in the background when all the wedding photos are being taken that way nobody needs to see my nice large belly. I am not of any major importance at either wedding (meaning not a bridesmaid or main party) which means I don't need to be in lots of pictures, which is completely fine by me. It's funny because I look down at myself and don't see a very large bump but I guess other people do, and now I am going to have to start asking Adam to take pictures of bump as I can't hold my camera far enough way to get all of her in. I am not any bigger than I am supposed to be but I am getting bigger.

Apparently, little tip for you from my midwife, once you hit 20 weeks and over the measurements of your 'bump' from top to bottom should correspond with how many weeks you are. So, if you're 25 weeks your 'bump' should be 25cm. I think that is pretty cool. Also, kinda scary because at 40 weeks my stomach is supposed to be another 10cm bigger than it is right now... Definitely scary.

So next week at some point I shall hopefully show you the dress I have got for both weddings, if I don't get the money in time I shall be wearing a good old maxi dress... nothing wrong with that although I may get told off because it is red, white and black with stripes. You make do my dears, you make do.

Subconsciously Supplying the Brain

For the past week I have been reading every night before I go to sleep. I didn't even realise I was doing it until today when I finished the book I was reading and wanted something else to read. I had to actively go searching for something else since I had read the two freebie books I had downloaded on my Kindle Amazon app on my phone.

I was reading a book called "The Diary of a Nobody". I figured they must be a somebody in order to have written a book. It was based in a time where shillings were the usual currency and women wore dresses for all occasions and maids were a common occurrence. Then I wet myself laughing (not literally - my bladder is still in tact although who knows for how long with this pregnancy) at the first freebie chapter of Miranda Hart's book, I have promised myself that I must buy it at some point. I downloaded a book called "How to Have a Stress Free Life"; where it shatters everyone's dreams of accomplishing this because it tells you from the off set that it is completely normal to have stress in your life - it just depends on what kind. Thanks for nothing silly book.

I think it is good to read before going to sleep as it helps my mind wander away from my normal every day life and just delve into the world of whatever book I am reading. My eyes usually last about an hour on my phone before the screen starts to get blurred and I need to go to sleep but that's okay because I can usually read a lot in an hour. But like I said I didn't even realise until recently that I was actively engaging in the reading world and should now qualify to list reading as one of my hobbies on my CV - I wonder who even does that...

I guess it's definitely not a bad habit to have of reading before going to bed and it certainly beats watching television. It will definitely come in handy through all those sleepless nights we have to come with Ava B. since during breast feeding you do nothing but sit there, or so I have been told.

So anyway, now I am actively going to read "Great Expectations" on recommendation from my mum, so lets see how that goes. Subconsciously reading makes me think of all the other things I do to engage my brain without even realising it, since the TV isn't included in that I am sure there are other things I can do that will help my brain actively engage in something without even realising it.

Surrogate Kitty Mummy

It's not easy you know. I didn't think it would be. But it has definitely been rewarding.

I woke up every two and half hours last night to feed Little Grey - the name I've given the runt of our litter. Being the only girl in a family of six she needed immediate care, love and attention. This included being fed every 2 hours (but I changed it to two and half for my sanity) and given eye drops twice a day along with two of her brothers who have contracted conjunctivitis - common in young kittens.

At first I didn't think I was getting anywhere, LG kept pulling away and meowling. Her claws, not fully developed yet and therefore non-retractable, kept sticking into my clothing making it harder for me to feed her. The nozzle on the feeder was too small and I kept panicking that I wasn't going to be able to feed her and she had to be fed, by me. I am lucky Millie is such a trusting cat otherwise this task would have been impossible! During the night she didn't want to feed much and I felt getting up was a pointless task as I was becoming more and more frustratingly tired at trying to make her eat. I'd tell LG calmly, "You need to eat, this is good for you". Then when Millie came upstairs to feed her brood I would have to literally wrestle the 5 boys she has away from the teet that LG was feeding on so she could get anti-bodies from her mummy.

I weighed all the babies this morning and I knew LG was visibly smaller than the others but she is roughly 9oz smaller than the biggest kitten which may not seem like a lot but with it being life and death here it is vital she puts on weight to become as big as her brothers - the meanies. I wouldn't say that I have become obsessed with weighing her but I wanted to keep track of all the weight she put on or, heavens forbid, lost. But this evening I had a little smile on my face when I noticed that LG had put on 0.2oz and was now in the 5oz category and her beautiful little eyes are shining up at me.

"We're not going to give up on you little one" I told her as Millie got into the bed I've made for them and started washing her. I am hoping it's just first time young mum syndrome for Millie that has pushed her to want to look after this beautiful yet incredibly small kitten. LG is the runt and by far the smallest and weakest of them all most cats would have given up on the runt by now but not Millie who purrs lots every time she has her babies near her. I wonder if Millie knows that LG is the only girl and that's why she isn't going to give up on her. I'm not sure but I am glad of it. Millie is a brilliant mummy. I just had to step in a little and give her a hand.

So, fingers crossed that this two and half hour feeding will soon turn into 3 and 4 hours and LG will be feeding more at longer intervals so will catch up to her brothers and make them see who is boss. You can't keep a woman down and she is a fighter.

Another thing about bottle feeding LG is that her mummy, Millie, thinks the milk is for her too so I've had to pull her off the milk a couple of times as she is trying to lick LG's face off because of all the milk. But I guess that helps with the eye problem which is quickly getting better. It's nice to see all the kittens with their beautiful eyes open.

Brain Boggled by Blackness

I haven't posted for a couple of days mainly because my brain just hasn't been working properly still. It does this from time to time. I can stare at the computer screen willing words to come from my brain and onto the laptop but nothing comes and then I get distracted and forget I was writing at all. Sometimes it gets too late to post but maybe I should write something small and suave or something.

A few days ago my mum posted on her blog the ingredients for Bread and Butter pudding and I had a craving for it for ages and I told mum I wish I had seen her post before we had gone shopping so I could get some eggs - since that's the only ingredient missing from the recipe... and you can't really do it without eggs. I think Adam's mum must be telepathic because we went over for dinner last night and you'll never guess what we had for dessert... Bread and Butter pudding. It was amazing and just what I wanted.

My sister is also a pregnancy craving life saver too because for weeks I have had a craving for coffee and due to my religion I don't drink it, even if I did usually I still wouldn't now because of the pregnancy. But I could smell it everywhere and desperately wanted to drink it but can't have it. However, in our house when I was younger we used to have a caffeine substitute called Caro. It's a herbal drink but smells a lot like coffee and I think because you usually put sugar and milk with it that it seems like coffee too. I have been looking for it everywhere and you USED to be able to buy it in Asda and other superstores but now you can't so unless I wanted to go through to Sunderland to Holland and Barretts there wasn't any way of getting Caro. So I was amazingly happy when Emily rang to say she was in Holland and Barrett so would I like some Caro, uhm YES PLEASE.

I haven't been sleeping properly recently due to the pregnancy and I am SO surprised that Adam hasn't resigned himself to the sofa by now because of all the moving around in the bed that I do. I just can't seem to get comfortable. I've had a few aches and pains all of which I wanted to get checked out with my midwife today, annoyingly enough she said all of the aches and pains I am having are totally normal and will probably get worse - oh well. She said Adam has to give me more back rubs and I completely agree.


Milo, my not-so-little kitty went for his neutering today and it was SO quiet in the house without him. We got him back this evening with no complications or anything with his operation which is good but it is really hard to keep him away from food bless him. He seems very quiet and laid back for now but hopefully he will perk up and like us a little more tomorrow when he wakes up a bit more. The vets we are with are really awesome and friendly and they told us everything went fine. They even offered us a free check up for Milo at the end of the week even though he doesn't need it, they just said if we wanted to come in for peace of mind then we could which is really nice. If you need to neuter your cat or happen to come across a cat that you want to keep that hasn't been neutered please talk to the Cats Protection agency. They were absolutely awesome with us and gave us vouchers for both cats, tell them where you live and they will recommend the cheapest places nearest to you for neutering your cat. We got Milo done and micro-chipped for £20.04 which is nothing compared to what it could be at some places. I really recommend their help.

Who Do YOU Think You Are?

This is a programme that I love which is currently on TV. Not sure which channel but I know it is there somewhere. It follows celebrities (or some are more film stars, singers etc. so famous people), famous people in their quest to find out who they are and where they are from by using family history sources available to them. These sources could be websites, census forms, parish records and sometimes even books.

There is a UK version and of course the Americans took us up on the good idea and now there is a US version BUT I love this version because it has some really famous people in it like Gwyneth Paltrow and Steve Buscemi, both of which I love and would never be on the British version. They start off with the basic information of their parents and possibly grandparents and then work back from there to as far as something interesting can take them. Sometimes they even go back four or five generations and find out some incredible stories about what happened to their loved ones.

I think this show is a brilliant tool in raising awareness about our family history to people all around the world. For years The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints has always pushed the idea of family history so that our families can be joined together from now until eternity - and how are you supposed to do that if you don't know who they are? So, now with programmes like Who Do You Think You Are? There seems to have been a massive increase in people searching for their family history to know who they are and whey they are from.

I know one or two people that don't really care about their family history and that don't want to know more about how came before them and that's fine but sometimes curiosity just gets the better of us and we want to know more. This is why we have experienced an increase in websites helping people search for their family websites such as familysearch.org and ancestry.com have become vital in helping people connect with other loved ones that they didn't even know existed; another reason I love family history.

Sometimes searching through your family history can bring up little surprises that you didn't expect such as one story I read recently about Kevin Bacon and his wife, Kyra Sedgwick who were looking back through their family history and their DNA when they found out that they were actually cousins (once removed), Kevin Bacon although slightly started by this revelation was put at ease by his wife who said that because they were once removed cousins it didn't matter.

But you just never know what might crop up for you. My mum works on the familysearch.org website and as a missionary for The Church of Jesus Christ and knows so MUCH about family history. She can search almost anyone and if you're looking for someone she will keep searching until she finds them for you. My mum is brilliant at the family history stuff so if you're looking for someone you should just let her know and I am sure she would help.

Simply Jamming

I jammed it up today. Big style. And I'm not talking DJ sets and radio heads. I am talking JAM. The staple of anyone's diet - well it should be. It's awesome. It can be a dinner and a dessert all in one and sometimes, yes I'll admit it, I even put it on my mash potato... hey, I don't like cranberries that much okay?

After a superbly rubbish nights sleep, and I know more to come, I decided I would have a lie in until 11am. I know how terribly lazy of me. But you try going to bed at 1 (couldn't sleep was in too much achi-ness) getting woken up at 4, trying to go back to sleep until 6 and getting woken up by your husband's work alarm at half 7... it's hard work. I also had to check on the babies who are doing extremely well. We have a little runt in the family but he's still getting fed and I am making sure of that daily. So, anyway, with half the day over I decided I should probably do something productive and after picking up the rubbish in the bathroom and giving it a bit of a wipe around I thought of the idea to bake.

I had this idea the other day too but realised I didn't have any butter and it is kinda a main ingredient in any recipe for cakes etc. that I've seen which is why when we went shopping the other day the first thing on the list was butter - that and the fact that my list was automatically put into alphabetical order.

So, it was awesome for me today to know that I have butter and could therefore get on with making some buns, cakes, etc. only problem this time was that we have no eggs left because I used them the other day for eggy bread - which consequently baby didn't like anyway. But the other week I made some butter cookies for a friend as a thank you for looking after our cats so I figured I could easily find a biscuit recipe without eggs, and the awesome thing about it is I can eat the mixture without getting told off.

I did a quick search online and found these 'Simply Jammy Biscuits' recipe on the 'GoodFood' website. It seemed simple enough.

200g Self-raising flour
100g Sugar
100g Butter
1 Egg (oops more on that in a minute)
Jam

Now as you know, I didn't have any eggs so I substituted the egg for 1 tbsp of oil and a splash of milk - sorry no definite measurements for that, just a 'splash'; you can make up your own mind on the splashes you need. But however many I used it worked so I'm all good.

You mix the sugar with the flour, then add the butter and crumble it together so you get 'breadcrumbs' texture. After that you add the oil and splash of milk and splerge it all together. Put some flour on the work top and roll it on the work top if it is easier. Don't use biscuit cutters because that just ruins the feel of the biscuits. Just use your hands. I think you get about 16 out of these ingredients. You want more? You make more.

Grease a tray or use grease proof paper and evenly separate the biscuit dough into small balls and SQUASH it so it is flat. Don't just pat it, SQUASH it. Not too much because you don't want biscuits to be extra thin then pop the staple ingredient in the middle of the biscuit. You'll know you've put too much jam on the top if it starts rolling off the sides and onto the tray.

Pop them in the oven pre-heated gas mark 6 (I usually put the oven on before I start mixing my ingredients together) for 10-15 minutes and voila you have your scrumm-il-icious biscuits; which we all agreed are fan-tabby-tasticly awesome.

You have no idea how many times I had to retype the word 'flour' because I kept writing 'flower'.

Extra Linkage:

Simple Jammy Biscuits - Good Food

The 'Squee' Festival

Only if you like cats and/or cute animals.

Sorry I didn't post yesterday my cat, Millie who was pregnant, finally gave birth to six, SIX, beautiful babies yesterday from about midnight Sunday to 7:30am Monday morning. I had to be up most of the time to make sure all the placentas came out - one per baby - as staying in her body will make her very ill. But, she did extremely perfectly well. I am so proud of my cat.

Millie gave birth to the first one UNDER OUR BED!! That's obviously where she felt safest which was nice to know she trusts us and then we got the prepared box from downstairs and brought it up to the bedroom. And at 1 in the morning Adam had to wake up and pull the bed out for me because I couldn't move it so Millie could carry on safely.

I stayed awake for three of the beautiful births. Her first is a ginger cat, which is extremely surprising given what Millie's colours are. Then she gave birth to a completely cream one, which again was a total surprise. We did not expect ginger or cream. My husband I think has fallen in love with the cream one which is not surprising because I've fallen in love with them all. Then Millie had a baby that looked a lot like her but definitely darker. After that I half went to sleep because I was soo tired and it was about half 3 in the morning and I definitely needed to sleep to look after my baby.

Grey one is clearly being squished somewhere in this pic.

An hour or so later I startled awake to find that Millie had had another baby, this time she had a grey one. I stayed awake for a couple more hours to see if she was going to have more because of the placentas and at about half 6ish in the morning I went back to sleep as I knew Adam would be up an hour or so later - I told him to go to sleep because he wasn't feeling too great and had work in the morning. So at 7:20 when Adam's alarm went off I looked at the babies and Millie and noticed that she had a random kitty head popping out from behind her back as well as the four that she had in front of her so now she had five babies!! And as I was telling Adam she had five beautiful babies out came another one! My little Kitty had 6 babies of her own and she looks so massive compared to the kittens. I can never imagine her as small as they are now, but she was.

So, anyway, here is the squee fest, and I will definitely be uploading more.

Trying to Move a Mountain

I need to set myself a challenge, a new beginning or rather a new habit. I need a new habit/hobby. I used to have lots. I used to go to the gym and read, or I'd paint a lot... I would do scrap booking and write letters but now all I think I do is knit, cook, and a main procrastination; watch TV.

You know, I really dislike having a TV. It is a constant distraction to life and sometimes I wish I could just throw it out the window because I don't need it; and although it is a good 'focal' point in our house where everyone can sit in front of it and 'be' together. We're not actually 'together'. We aren't talking very much and if we do we are focusing mainly on the television and what is on the television. I don't mind it sometimes, but I find that my brain just turns itself off and stares into the deep dark abyss of the television and this I do mind.

I don't think my brain works as much as it used to, just because it doesn't need to, i.e. for a job or anything but just because I'm not getting paid for using my brain or just because I'm not 'studying' (if that's what you could have called it) towards a degree doesn't mean I shouldn't use my brain. I forget that somewhere in my head there is a brain that studied once, and wrote poetry, typed essays and wrote dissertations that were 11,000 words long. It's not that I miss the work because I don't, I think its the fact that I miss the learning; the idea that I could be doing something else with my brain besides counting stitches. My brain is capable of more than that.

I say this, and I moan about this but at the same time it is entirely my fault that my brain has literally gone into hibernation. I know 'baby brain' doesn't help but really not developing my own mind is a wasteful thing and it is THIS that I want to change. The mountain I want to move is my lack of motivation. My lack of having a knowledgeable 'goal'. All these wonderful hobbies moved to the wayside drowning in the depths of my habitually lazy brain. I want to read lots again and draw, write, sing, knit even. I do knit at the moment but I don't do all the other things.

This links in to my mum's blog post that she wrote earlier, found here:

januarytodecember.com Post: 2 Hours

She wrote that wants to read more and wants to challenge herself to read at least 2 hours a day but she looks around at the mess, and the tasks that need doing; then the cats need feeding and the household needs feeding so of course there is washing up to be done and that sink looks pretty manky so I'll give that a clean. Then before you know it your 2 hours are up and it is time to move onto something else and you've not done what you wanted to do.

So, instead of setting 2 hours aside a day to read I am going to set 2 hours aside a day to draw, or write, maybe research something just for the fun and I could even read who knows; but I will most definitely be turning the TV off and not cleaning up my house.

And yes, I know I probably won't have time to do something for 2 hours to myself when baby Ava comes but that's precisely why I should start doing things now because at some point in the day she will go to sleep or daddy will come home from work and I will have a minute or two.

Slightly Distracted

Watching OBEM. One Born Every Minute.

I was obsessed when Emily was pregnant and then I think the series ended and my obsession ended but I was in the middle of watching a programme called Obsessive Compulsive Disorders. During one of the advert breaks it said that the new OBEM series was on at 9pm this evening but because I was watching the other programme on Channel 4+1 I quickly realised that it had just turned 9pm so I thought,
"Pfft, screw watching this, OBEM here I come!!"

So, now my sister and I are watching One Born Every Minute. I should be scared and terrified BUT in a way it is good way of picking up tips and writing down notes, plus with Emily being here I can ask her loads of questions about her pregnancy and labour - even though I was there pretty much through the whole of both.

I am trying not to get freaked out by it all because when all is said and done it is going to happen and baby is going to get here one way or another. We have been talking about painkillers and gas and air and I should be scared, which I kind of am, but at the same time I am intrigued and want to know more. It's like when you're doing an essay for something you have to look up everything about it and know everything about it, which can be either be a good or a bad thing. So I can freak myself out or I can be as prepared as I can for whatever happens. And I know, I know, you can never be FULLY prepared but it's nice to know a few of the circumstances than know nothing at all.

My brain.

My birthing plan so far is 'go-with-the-flow' and do everything as naturally as possible. Obviously I might (most definitely will) need pain killers but I don't want to go as far as an epidural and I don't want to have to have a C-Section so at least that is some sort of guideline to go along. It is kinda nice to have gone through it all in 3rd person with my sister Emily because her labour was as straight forward as I think they come. She did brilliantly and it is an experience I shall never forget.

In other news, first time sickness in a long while (I think about two weeks to the day actually) this afternoon during lunch which is annoying. I wonder why I am still getting sickness at random times because it clearly isn't because 'baby doesn't like it' like it used to be. Annoyingly enough I think I was ill because of the fruit juice I had with my lunch, it was five fruit exotic juice and I got it because I can't drink Coca Cola because it gives me heart-burn so I now have a choice between water, water and water oh and the occasional OJ. Nevermind. I'll be losing weight not gaining it! Just because I can't have chocolate now or anything too sweet.

I know, blah, blah, blah.

Baking a Bell: Update

In the progress of becoming 26 weeks pregnant. There really isn't a middle ground is there? It's not like people go around telling everyone they're 25.5 weeks pregnant. So, yeah... I'm in the progress of becoming 26 weeks so the information I have found online relates to someone who is between 25-26 weeks pregnant.

We went to the midwives yesterday for our 25 week check up where we got to do a number of things. First she checked my blood pressure and the good ol' urine sample which all worked out completely fine. Then we got to the interesting part where I had to lie down on the bed and she felt my stomach, all that was good too. After that we did the best bit ever... we heard baby Ava's heartbeat. The midwife found it hard at first to get the heartbeat because Ava kept moving around but we got there in the end. You know when your child pretends to have a gun and shoots at you with their hand? And they say pow, pow? Not bang bang? Well, imagine pow pow pow pow pow whispered and continuously, word after word; that's a baby's general heartbeat.

Think I've used this one before, but it is funny. 

I heard the heartbeat a few weeks ago when I went into hospital with pains but Adam wasn't in the room at the time which was a shame so when he heard it yesterday his face lit up. All he could say was "wow, that is really fast"; also normal. The midwife measured my baby bump and said I was perfectly where I needed to be.

According to a website online baby is nearly 2lbs in weight and is approximately 10-14 inches long, which seems kinda scary because when Amelia, my sister's baby, was born she was 22inches long. So my baby is now roughly half the size she needs to be when she is born! Ahhh!!

At this point in time she is starting to have sleeping patterns too which is very apparent to my uterus since she kicks during the morning, mid afternoon, late evening and night time just as I am going to sleep - thanks baby. I haven't forgotten about sleep yet but it shall soon become a distant memory. I am however, usually up when Adam is at 7:30 even if I haven't slept until early morning due to trying to move into some random positions in bed whilst trying to get to sleep. I really should become a contortionist. I wonder if they have better sleep when they are pregnant.

Can't wait for this. 

And baby is no longer the same size as an egg plant but rather now she is the same size as a courgette - not bad. 

Minimal Motivation

I seem to be lacking in any type of motivation to do anything at all these days. I haven't been feeling well the past couple of days and I think it is a mixture of old pregnancy symptoms mixing with the new and the added feelings that something is completely wrong with baby when actually nothing is wrong at all.

My stomach and bottom of my throat always feel empty. My stomach always feels like swishy swashy like I've drunk too much water and it is finally getting to that time where it takes me just that little big longer to get up out of my chair. I seem to be walking around like a person 40 years my senior and my bladder is acting the same way.

I would say that's too much information but everyone has got to know these things at some point. I have started reading a pregnancy book too which is quite funny. She writes the same way I do and has a nice hint of sarcasm to her voice that makes her a fun read. I guess it is just one of my day time things to do. But anyway back to my motivation. I lost it. I don't know where it has gone. I think it disappeared at the same time as my pregnant belly got bigger; or maybe baby has taken it all. Either way I'm finding it hard to do things these days.

Take for instance the fact that I don't like leaving the house anymore. The house seems be my comfort zone and even though I go for little walks here and there I don't like leaving the house for too long. I have a cinema pass and Adam and I often go to the cinema but sometimes I just really don't want to leave the house. I know that when I am out and about I will enjoy the film and enjoy spending time with Adam on our own - a rare occasion these days but I have to push myself to get out of the house which can be quite hard sometimes. My sister, Bethany tells me it is a comfort thing that I like to be around things which bring me comfort which I guess could explain it, however, most women only experience this towards the end of their pregnancy.

Another thing, I haven't really had the urge to eat anything at all. Last week it was apples and this week it is nothing. Nothing I eat seems to quench my hunger and yet it does all at the same time because I am not hungry anymore but yet I am. It is a strange feeling but one I suppose I shall have to just bear with. Like my sister, Bethany also said, "you wanted a baby you've just got to deal with the 9 months before the baby comes" and hey only 15 weeks to go. So prepare for some more moaning.

On the plus plus plus side, Ava is now kicking loads, everyday and most of the day. Mid evening she tends to stop which is nice but then as soon as I go to bed she is back at it again. It is a lovely feeling.

When I Worra Kid

We went to see my grandparents as a last trip before coming back to Washington yesterday and it was so lovely to see them. They are in their early 80's and have really experienced life, a life that nobody my age would ever know about. They have seen nearly four of my lifetimes and remember lots from all of it.

They spoke of when they went to school, two completely different schools and how the teachers would walk around with a cane in hand ready to whack the nearest non self-disciplined child and how the Father in one of their schools, as it was a children's Catholic school, would come into the classroom on a Monday morning and whip their cane on the front desks ready to punish the child that hadn't gone to Mass the day previously. They told us of the ink wells and fountain pens they used in the classrooms and the blotting paper they had to utilise in case their pens dripped ink onto the page; which as my Grandma told me, it frequently did. She told me that her teacher would put big rings around every over splodged page and the ink that would fall down their fingers and wrists whilst writing so that by the time the end of the school day came her hand would be blackened with ink. They told me that at the end of each day the ink wells would either be collected up and washed or they were responsible for their own ink well which had to be cleaned and put away.

My Grandma told us, very briefly, of what things were like during the Second World War, an experience I will never ever have - not of back then anyway. My Grandad told us what things were like for his family during the war. My Grandma told us that her father was one of the first men to ever ride in a rubber tire vehicle and how she spent her afternoons listening to the radio and using an 'amplifier' (I think that's what she called it) to make it just that bit louder.

They told us what it was like to have children 50 odd years ago and how it was completely different to what it is now and how my Mother would always cling to my Grandad when he came home from work until he picked her up and hugged her and how Grandma would have to wash the nappies because there was no such thing as Pampers or Huggies. My mother in fact only had Pampers when I was born, before that they were reusable and washable - non of this recycling rubbish.

Well, my Silver Cross certainly doesn't look like this!

I think we young ones take for granted a lot of the things we have these days. We have televisions, internet, mobile phones, internet on our mobile phones, we have washing machines, dryers and dishwashers. We take all of these things for granted but most of all, I think we take for granted our heritage. Our past and those in our family who make up our past. I rarely visit my Grandparents; it doesn't help that I live 100 odd miles away but that is no excuse. The stories of the past will soon be gone and all we will have is memories, memories that are shaded and sketched and a little unbelievable in parts. The World Wars and the times my Grandparents grew up in are most definitely alien to me and  anyone who was born after a time where they could remember the war for themselves.

Of the Grandparents on my father's side my Grampy is passed and no longer with us and my Nana, blessed Nana, sadly has Alzheimer's disease. All of her memories are lost now in to the deep abyss of nowhere. It is at these times I urge you to keep a record of your life, even if one day you stare at the page and don't know what to write; tell them that you don't know what to write. Tell your children and your children's children of your life before it is too late; before you have to frantically get in any time you can to see them and tell them everything you know. My Grandparents are far wiser than I am and far wiser than I will ever know. Don't disrespect that. Take time today to do what you can do tomorrow. Yes, you can put it off, but tomorrow won't always come.

One, Two, Miss a Few...

... Ninety Nine, One Hundred.

I told Adam I had to do my blog today and he asked "Why? Can't you just do it tomorrow?" valid question which has a valid answer. I told him I didn't post on Friday and I didn't post yesterday because the day ran away with me in a polka dot bag on a stick on it's back and so if I didn't post today there wouldn't be a good flow to my blog; and I don't want to get out of the habit of blogging before I've even gotten back into it.

I found out at some point last week that my body doesn't like sugary things, it gives me a headache and sometimes makes me get really bad heartburn so I was determined not to eat that much, however, that quickly went out the window when I went to my mums for the weekend; we are here until Tuesday. I blame Adam. He should be with me at all times and in all places so that when I get offered chocolate he can eat it instead of me but when I was given a tray of Thornton's Chocolates (capital letters needed for the chocolate's importance) to share with a friend on Friday, how could I refuse? Then it just went downhill from there. So, I think if I write it down and tell everyone I shouldn't be eating too much sugary things then hopefully I will stop myself from eating too much. My mum also has Pepsi, a cup full of flavoured sugar; bring on the unladylike burping.

How could anyone refuse?

Then yesterday we went to visit my youngest sister, Bethany, in Preston. She made everyone a Sunday dinner complete with roast potatoes (Thank you Bethany) which was delicious, scrum-diddle-e-umptious. So I ate all of that and yes, you guessed it, more chocolate. It wouldn't be so bad if I had remembered to take my Gaviscon to my mum's house, but I didn't. But I seem to be coping on the paracetamol at the moment for the headaches.

So, this weekend has just been too busy to get everything done. I should write my blog from my phone but the app I have to write it with isn't very good and blogger doesn't seem to exist on the Windows phones... something they need to correct pretty soon. Plus my brain remembers some things and forgets others which is slightly annoying and by the time we got back from Preston yesterday all I wanted to do was sleep for a couple of hours. Adam and I were supposed to be going to see a film at the cinema so I wanted to get in a little nap to get rid of the headache before we went. I slept for a couple of hours, got up and wanted to go back to bed but, I persevered in staying up for a couple more hours yesterday, and still didn't want to get out of bed for church this morning.

I love Kitty piccys!!

Well, that's me for the past couple of days. Tomorrow I'm not quite sure what we are doing besides visiting my brother in the evening and then on Tuesday visiting my Grandma and Grandad so I shall keep all updated. It's weird when Adam gets five days off and we go to my mum's house for the long weekend because we try to cram so much in and we get ourselves so busy that we never seem to stop. Don't get me wrong it is lovely to see people but sometimes the roller coaster of life really should just slow down for a minute or two.

Happy Valentine's Day!

I know some people won't celebrate Valentine's Day and I know others won't have anyone to celebrate Valentine's Day with BUT I will celebrate it with you! I hope everyone felt a little bit of love today even if it wasn't from a special someone and I hope everyone celebrated the day doing exactly what they wanted and they were happy.

Adam was at work all day and he was a little late this morning so we didn't get time to open our cards and I didn't want to open mine without Adam being there so I told him I would patiently wait until this evening to open it. So, when I went downstairs this morning I saw a nice big red envelope... not too big as to look cheesy (personal view but I hate hate hate the massive Valentine's Day cards they just look so tacky - to me anyway, others can love what they wish) but it was big enough and bigger than the one I got Adam.

I love this man more than words could ever say.

Beside it was a little bear with a heart on it's tummy. I have no idea why (probably hormones you know how it is people) but I suddenly got a tear of happiness in my eyes. Adam had gotten me a bear! He had gone out and seen it and thought I would like it and so bought it. I was so thrilled! He gives romantic gestures in his own little way throughout the year but not in the usual chocolates or flowers (and hasn't given me flowers to date yet) but I don't mind that. He loves me the only way he knows how and that is perfectly beautiful enough for me. I haven't named my bear yet but he shall go with me everywhere I go.

Adam later noted that he wanted to get me a bigger bear but he knew I would be a little annoyed since we don't have lots of spare cash at the moment, and I don't like money spent on me when I know it needs to go somewhere else. He got me exactly what I wanted and I baked him a cake, which we are currently munching on.

It should be noted that I might not bake again until the end of my pregnancy, or after baby Ava is born because I just can't seem to remember anything or get any ingredients right. I forgot to grease my tin this afternoon (luckily it didn't matter much) and the other day I made such a mess in my kitchen for the pancakes so I don't think I will be doing that again in a hurry!

Primary, FHE & Church

Or should that be Church, Primary & FHE?

Nor one or the other is more important but I guess I can't have FHE and Primary without Church.

Again, another one of those random tab things I have at the top of my page for who knows what reason... well why don't you click and find out?

I shall explain more about Church, Primary & FHE in the tab named the aforementioned but for now Sunday shall be my day of posting about Church, Primary and so on and so forth. I love going to church for the simple reason that it makes me happy. Someone once asked why I go, what I do it for. I simply said,
"Because this is the only Church I know of that answers the question of who I am, who I was and where I am going next" the biggest questions of all... and no the answer, unfortunately isn't 42; like we are led to believe in Hitch-hikers Guide to the Galaxy.

Today was a lovely day at church. I love Primary and the children I work with and couldn't possibly ask for a better calling (besides being a mother). In Primary today we sang some songs and played 'Name That Tune' for the songs we've been learning recently and then we talked about Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden and why they came to Earth. Such a simple and yet incredibly important lesson to learn. But I think they understood it perfectly.

We have a mini problem with behaviour at the moment, because with kids being kids they don't like to sit and behave all the time. We have a system in place where if they behave they get to put a piece of armour on the 'Warriors' but for the past few weeks they have been nothing but trouble sometimes and today we had a meeting about we could eradicate the bad behaviour, nip it in the bud so to speak before the child gets too erratic and sets off other children in the room - we don't want to punish the lot for the few if you get what I mean.

So, we had a chat and I prayed and had a think about it and I've put it to the Primary President that we should make a 'traffic light' system but more basic. We have green badges for good children and red badges for bad children. When they come to the classroom all the children are presented with a green badge and if they misbehave they get the green badge taken from them and are given the red badge, if they are still misbehaving and being disruptive we take them to their parents (after-all nobody is perfect). Those who have green badges or green stickers against their name at the end of Opening Exercises and Sharing Time get a gold star on the chart, those who have red badges or stickers get nothing - because nobody should be rewarded for bad behaviour. So, hopefully this should work but let me know what you think.

A Yorkshire Gal I Shall Always Be

There's always something nostalgic about going back to Bradford and seeing familiar roads, faces and places. Weird thing is I'm not really sure why as I didn't really much like Bradford but it seems to have grown on me as I have moved away. I wouldn't like to live there again but I always like to go back and visit from time to time and tell Adam about the places I grew up and the schools that I went to - a tale I'm sure I've told him very often.

Last weekend Adam and I (and a friend) went to go pick up our new car from Burnley and because we hadn't been to the place before we put it in the satnav and went on our way. After a little while I realised that we were going towards Skipton in North Yorkshire and A roads that looked like motorways started to turn into A roads that looked like country dual carriageways and then they turned into B roads winding and swerving through the amazingly beautiful countryside of Yorkshire. Adam proclaimed that he could never live in such a place as he is a city boy and likes everything to be around him but I suppose that's where we differ.

A Yorkshire gal I shall always be who smiles at the greenery and ponders of the days when I used to run around in the fields and walked up the hillsides. I remember how the suns rays shone down on the moors from my bedroom window and changed the grass from green to yellow to gold. I think in lots of ways Adam and I are a perfect match, not only because we have strong accents but also because we come from places that you'll never forget as you grow older. Even though I live up North - which is even further up North than where I actually come from I will still love to go down memory lane whenever I visit family and friends. I wouldn't say school or childhood was particularly wonderful in Bradford but I gladly push those pathetic memories aside and remember the happier days.

The reason for this sweet simmering praise of Bradford is because today Adam and I dropped my sister and her daughter, Amelia down at my mum's house and even though I wasn't going home it felt like I was. I went into the house that I grew up in for at least 11-12 years (which was a long time in one house for us) and I felt incredibly at home. I guess you always do feel like that when you go to a place that you grew up in. The only weird thing was that now my mum's children have children and we're all growing up and growing away, which has a sweet sadness to it.

One thing I shall have to remember though for when travelling down to my mum's house and taking my daughter with us is that you always need bigger boot space that you actually have and you always need to bring twice as much for the baby than you do for yourself.

Do you think this would have big enough boot space?

Baby Bell in the Baking

As you can see at the top of my blog there are little tabs, different pages of my life. Some of them haven't been updated yet but if you click on 'Baby Bell in the Baking' you will see up to date information, cuteness and piccys of baby, bump and more. I won't notify my main page every day of updates that I put on the 'Baby Bell in the Baking' page but if you click the tab you will get the info you need.

I was writing a baby journal and I was reading through it yesterday and I must admit it actually depressed me a little. I mean pregnancy is supposed to be one of the most magical times of your life and there I was page after page splurging out how sick I was and how everything was just a mess and how everyone was getting on my nerves; I suppose that's just the reality of it all really but I don't want to always remember my pregnancy like that. I want to remember the mini movements, the kicks, the punches (in a cute way as long as they're not too violent) and the delighted looks on my husband's face when he feels her kicking.

Yep, our baby is a girl, or so we've been told. I am sure she is a girl, it's just when you're expecting to have a boy from the day you found out you were pregnant up until the day of your anomaly scan it kinda takes a while to sink into your brain what you're actually having.

So, no, peoples, the 'Baby Bell in the Baking' tab is not about baking food but rather it's about baking a baby, as I sincerely hope that's what I am cooking in there; even if she did look like an alien to begin with.

By the way, baby Ava (the name we've given her) - is the size of an egg plant, but the annoying thing is... eggplants come in all different shapes and sizes...

... so I might be a little bit worried if she is the same size as the large purple or green ones on the right of the picture; and she weighs about a lb in weight. HOW CUTE! Apparently this is the month where I start to pack on the lbs... or rather baby does as her body starts to ripen up a bit. Keep you posted!

The Beauty's in the Blueprints

Welcome to my new blog!

I have debated with myself over the last couple of weeks or so as to whether or not I should write a new blog but I think it would be selfish of me not to.

Why the name?

My sister and I were thinking of a name for hours last night. I wanted it to represent my new growing family and be about not just one specific thing like my last blog www.bradfordianbridezilla.blogspot.com - I wanted it to be a follow on about becoming a mother, being a wife, growing up (in a matter of speaking). I wanted to show progression of how my bump turns into a baby, that turns into a toddler which progresses into a child and life goes on.

My previous blog was specifically about being engaged and getting married but I've done that now and I found it hard to continue to write on a blog about being a Bridezilla when I was no longer a Bridezilla - I am no longer in that category anymore; although I am sure I am wifezilla which is where this blog comes in perfectly.

Blueprints are enlarged designs of houses, structures, statues, and are the conglomeration of a set of minds to produce something original, beautiful, interesting. The details in a blueprint include measurements of each and every single part included in the plan - the height of a window, a door, a wall for example. When you look at a blueprint you see a set of shapes and lines that make up the bigger picture. However, if these details, measurements are even a mm off the design will not fit, the outcome will not be as the blueprint has shown and the work of all those incredible minds will have been lost. The beauty in the blueprint is in the details. The beauty in life is in the details. Every single thing we do in our lives, big or small, counts. What we do now in the details and the plans will in turn shape up how the blueprints turn out and how the plans come together.

There is one thing about life's little details that blueprints cannot allow for and that is, mistakes; or rather changes to the plan. Luckily life has a way of working out even if it is a mm off everything still slots together, maybe not perfectly but besides for blueprints - what is?

What I do now in my life will affect the blueprints of what happens in my children's lives' the beauty of it is in the detail. At the moment I am 22 weeks pregnant, I have been married just under 9 months and am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I have two cats which I love and adore. I bake, I cook, I clean and I knit. I do not work at the moment and do not plan to until I feel it is right to do so. I hope you join me and my family whilst we create our own blueprints on life.