Trying to Move a Mountain

I need to set myself a challenge, a new beginning or rather a new habit. I need a new habit/hobby. I used to have lots. I used to go to the gym and read, or I'd paint a lot... I would do scrap booking and write letters but now all I think I do is knit, cook, and a main procrastination; watch TV.

You know, I really dislike having a TV. It is a constant distraction to life and sometimes I wish I could just throw it out the window because I don't need it; and although it is a good 'focal' point in our house where everyone can sit in front of it and 'be' together. We're not actually 'together'. We aren't talking very much and if we do we are focusing mainly on the television and what is on the television. I don't mind it sometimes, but I find that my brain just turns itself off and stares into the deep dark abyss of the television and this I do mind.

I don't think my brain works as much as it used to, just because it doesn't need to, i.e. for a job or anything but just because I'm not getting paid for using my brain or just because I'm not 'studying' (if that's what you could have called it) towards a degree doesn't mean I shouldn't use my brain. I forget that somewhere in my head there is a brain that studied once, and wrote poetry, typed essays and wrote dissertations that were 11,000 words long. It's not that I miss the work because I don't, I think its the fact that I miss the learning; the idea that I could be doing something else with my brain besides counting stitches. My brain is capable of more than that.

I say this, and I moan about this but at the same time it is entirely my fault that my brain has literally gone into hibernation. I know 'baby brain' doesn't help but really not developing my own mind is a wasteful thing and it is THIS that I want to change. The mountain I want to move is my lack of motivation. My lack of having a knowledgeable 'goal'. All these wonderful hobbies moved to the wayside drowning in the depths of my habitually lazy brain. I want to read lots again and draw, write, sing, knit even. I do knit at the moment but I don't do all the other things.

This links in to my mum's blog post that she wrote earlier, found here:

januarytodecember.com Post: 2 Hours

She wrote that wants to read more and wants to challenge herself to read at least 2 hours a day but she looks around at the mess, and the tasks that need doing; then the cats need feeding and the household needs feeding so of course there is washing up to be done and that sink looks pretty manky so I'll give that a clean. Then before you know it your 2 hours are up and it is time to move onto something else and you've not done what you wanted to do.

So, instead of setting 2 hours aside a day to read I am going to set 2 hours aside a day to draw, or write, maybe research something just for the fun and I could even read who knows; but I will most definitely be turning the TV off and not cleaning up my house.

And yes, I know I probably won't have time to do something for 2 hours to myself when baby Ava comes but that's precisely why I should start doing things now because at some point in the day she will go to sleep or daddy will come home from work and I will have a minute or two.