Minimal Motivation

I seem to be lacking in any type of motivation to do anything at all these days. I haven't been feeling well the past couple of days and I think it is a mixture of old pregnancy symptoms mixing with the new and the added feelings that something is completely wrong with baby when actually nothing is wrong at all.

My stomach and bottom of my throat always feel empty. My stomach always feels like swishy swashy like I've drunk too much water and it is finally getting to that time where it takes me just that little big longer to get up out of my chair. I seem to be walking around like a person 40 years my senior and my bladder is acting the same way.

I would say that's too much information but everyone has got to know these things at some point. I have started reading a pregnancy book too which is quite funny. She writes the same way I do and has a nice hint of sarcasm to her voice that makes her a fun read. I guess it is just one of my day time things to do. But anyway back to my motivation. I lost it. I don't know where it has gone. I think it disappeared at the same time as my pregnant belly got bigger; or maybe baby has taken it all. Either way I'm finding it hard to do things these days.

Take for instance the fact that I don't like leaving the house anymore. The house seems be my comfort zone and even though I go for little walks here and there I don't like leaving the house for too long. I have a cinema pass and Adam and I often go to the cinema but sometimes I just really don't want to leave the house. I know that when I am out and about I will enjoy the film and enjoy spending time with Adam on our own - a rare occasion these days but I have to push myself to get out of the house which can be quite hard sometimes. My sister, Bethany tells me it is a comfort thing that I like to be around things which bring me comfort which I guess could explain it, however, most women only experience this towards the end of their pregnancy.

Another thing, I haven't really had the urge to eat anything at all. Last week it was apples and this week it is nothing. Nothing I eat seems to quench my hunger and yet it does all at the same time because I am not hungry anymore but yet I am. It is a strange feeling but one I suppose I shall have to just bear with. Like my sister, Bethany also said, "you wanted a baby you've just got to deal with the 9 months before the baby comes" and hey only 15 weeks to go. So prepare for some more moaning.

On the plus plus plus side, Ava is now kicking loads, everyday and most of the day. Mid evening she tends to stop which is nice but then as soon as I go to bed she is back at it again. It is a lovely feeling.