However, there is one thing that pregnancy could definitely do without and that is the mixed up moments of madness where I forget what I am doing, where I am going and how I am doing it. I didn't post yesterday, I was going to, but then I didn't. I forgot. Or rather, I had it in my mind to post, was going to post and then got distracted. Yesterday wasn't a good day for my puddled pregnancy brain. I think yesterday I'd just had enough; and it wasn't just the pregnancy.
At 23 weeks I don't sleep through the night, and for those of you who have been pregnant you will know why. I had to get up for a pee and then just as my brain was settling down to sleep... I had to get up for a pee again. I drank too much water in the evening because of another pregnancy symptom, the headache, the water helped the headache go away but didn't help during the night *baby is bumping me at this very moment, squiggling and squirming around my insides - very distracting*. So then I'd peed, I'd settled and I was chilled and feel asleep only to be woken an hour later by my sides aching because I wasn't lying on my back and baby didn't like me lying on my side, so all in all I didn't get very much sleep.
But that's not it. My kitten, Milo, whom I love to death, hasn't been 'done' yet if you get what I mean and so he is in heat season - goodness knows how long that lasts (he is on the list of things to be paid for) and at 7am he was meowling for a mate, and it was non-stop. And once I thought he had settled down and stopped he would start up again. From 7am until 11am he just on and off meowled. So when Adam went to work at 8am I couldn't even try and go back to sleep.
Then on top of that, the kittens had chewed through a ball of my wool that I am in the process of knitting with, not good. To make matters worse I was trying to clean the house for friends coming over in the evening and had mopped the dining room floor and Milo then proceeded to walk over it, just as I had finished. Millie, our other kitten, happily stayed off the floor, but not Milo. So I was at my wits end with him and I just kept thinking over and over "He is just a kitten, I'm having a baby and after 1 day of my kitten being a nuisance I want to put him outside in the bin, what am I going to do when a baby arrives?" In the end I tried to be a little more patient with him and luckily he calmed down.
But since I was sooo stressed out with Milo, being a pain, on top of not sleeping and feeling achy, trying to do my knitting was like trying to concentrate on a bulldozer or forklift picking up a needle. I had to pull it out 2/3 times because it just wasn't going right because I hadn't read the pattern properly. On top of that some family members were having a disagreement and I was the go between.
In the end I turned my phone on silent, went to the bathroom, locked the door (even though nobody else was in the house), turned some soothing music on nice and loud and then went in the shower and sat on the floor for a good long while. Showers are supposed to be short but that one wasn't. It helped though. I got out of the shower, restarted and finished my knitting (that part of the cardigan anyway) and made dinner.
Sometimes, you just gotta let it out, and moan, and groan. Even if nobody in the world can help you with a meowling cat or not being able to sleep or kittens walking over just washed floors, you just need a good moan sometimes. So, that's why I didn't post yesterday. Because my puddled pregnancy brain wouldn't allow it.
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